My "baby" is three!

I am almost ashamed to admit it. I am sad that James is three. It seems that as I go though those baby things with Alex, that I was doing them with James a heartbeat ago. I am so proud of the boy he has become. His loving heart. His gentle spirit. His imagination. His creativity. I love every part of who and what he is...
I feel that those days of him wanting to spend time with me are running short. He is more and more willing to do things without me. He doesn't need me to watch every little thing he does anymore (which I do admit is a blessing with a 3 month old).
I miss that time that we had before Alex arrived when it was just the two of us. When we could do anything at any time of the day. When we would wake up and just talk in bed for a while in the morning after Daddy left for work. I miss the hours we would spend just talking about anything and everything and going out and exploring the world together. Doing a park tour one day and doing art another. And I am sad that he has transitioned to our new reality, where he must now share my attention, a little to easily.
He is three now. He will be starting school soon. I am equally as afraid that he is not going to like going to school as I am afraid that he will love it. I hope that he can separate from me happily and easily, but I also want him to not want me to go. I am afraid that the amount of tears shed will be mostly mine.
For the better part of the past three years, he has been my world. My heart. My everything. Now we are both learning how to love another. My heart breaks every time that I must stop playing with him to take care of his brother. My heart also breaks for him every time I fall deeper in love with Alex. I want to have my cake and eat it too. I want to have two boys to be in my heart, but I want both of them to feel like they are the only ones. I hope that James will forever feel my love the same way he felt it before Alex was born and that Alex will feel that love too. I guess that all I can do is pray that I will be able to give them all that they need and that they always know that I am there for them.