My daddy passed away 15 days ago. It is hard to type that. I can't really wrap my head around it yet. My daddy passed away. I will never hear him say my name again. I will never tell him how much my boys and I love him again. I will never get to see him light up when he sees my boys again. My daddy is gone.
I have my moments. Moments when I completly loose it. Like when I call my parents house and expect him to pick up the phone. When I go to call him and tell him about something the boys did. When I go to my parents house and expect him to be sitting in his chair. I havn't been sleeping well. I will pass out sometimes from pure exaustion, but most of the time I am restless. I can't believe that he is gone.
My son's birthday is this upcoming week and I am not looking forward to it. I want him there. I want him to sing "Happy Birthday." I want him to sign his card. I want him to be there. I can hardly bear the thought he won't be there at any major or minor event again. I can't believe that his last celebration was my other's son's first birthday. It's not fair!!
Making it worse is the fact that my husband's uncle is in the hospital. He is really bad. He was fine, just like my dad, now he is in the ICU. I went to see him yesterday and I could hardly hold it together. Seeing him there, like that, it is just too much like my daddy. To see his daughters, his sons, and his wife going to go though the same thing as I am.
I cry for him, I cry for my dad, and I cry for us... the ones that will miss them so much. The ones whos hearts are broken. The ones that just can't understand what happened.
