Alexander is here!!!

On Friday, May 15th, 2009 at 18:18 our second son was born. He was 8lbs 3oz and 20 inches long. He has surprisingly little hair and is gorgeous. He was delivered a few days before my scheduled c-section because I was having signs of pre-e again (high blood pressure).

He is beautiful and perfect. He has dark eyes (so far) and red skin (my first also had really red skin at first). He totally has his days and nights mixed up. He loves his big brother and his big brother loves him. He seems so sweet (so far). Hardly cries. His right foot is clubbed. We have already made arrangements for him to see a specialist next week, so keep your fingers crossed that everything goes well.

I have so much to say, but alas the words allude me... I will try to say more next time.

Oh I wanted to share this...

My "cousin" Mary looked this up for me. Needless to say, it made me cry. I just wanted to share it (if anyone ever actually reads this).

Loving Two
I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you? Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as youve never shared me before. I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again. You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again. But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. Im afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you. But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection. More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other. I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I havent taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently. And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know youll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply. I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life. Author Unknown

One Week!!!!

At this time next week, I will be holding my second precious little boy (BTW, they think he will be about 9lbs... OMG!). My c-section is scheduled for Tues, May 19th. I am still hoping that it happens sooner, but that hope is fading fast.

I havn't really discussed the revised reason for this blog. Alex will be born with a club foot. I wanted to document what I was thinking the last 18 weeks since we were told, but alas I could not. It was a punch in the face that I couldn't quickly recover from. My perfect little boy wasn't so perfect. Then I started doing research. A LOT of research. What is it exactly? How did it happen? What will happen to him? What is the best way to treat it? How do I tell the important people in our lives?

Well, I have done all the research. I feel better about the whole thing, but I am still nervous. What if the doctor that I picked isn't good. What will people say when they see him? We will have to wait and see for those answers.

As for telling people... I havn't been very good about that. It seems so easy at the docotors office. It seems very easy to talk about with those who already know, but I can't seem to say it to the others.

The litmis test on how I will handle all of this will be my brother's wedding. Alex should have a cast on at that point. Almost everyone I know will be there (both people I would tell and people I wouldn't go out of my way to tell). It will be obvious to everyone that there is something wrong and that is when I willl have to explain why a 4 week old baby has to wear a cast.

Well, that is all for now. I hope to have a picture of my new little one up with my next post. Til then...